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Author Archives: Rebeca Seitz

About Rebeca Seitz

A story industry executive, Seitz is President and CEO of the non-profits BelieversTrust and SON Studios. Her opinions are her own, not that of her employer. Seitz is also an award-winning novelist and biographer. She is a regular presenter at publishing trade shows and writers conferences regarding the mainstream, commercially-viable entertainment created by Christians.

Calculating God

Calculating God

As more and more writers, filmmakers, managers, publishers, movie lovers, book lovers, and tv fans join the movement at SON, I have an awesome opportunity to see the common ground on which we stand regardless of religion (or lack thereof). It’s so cool! It also raises questions I haven’t focused on for a while. What makes an atheist choose the moral high ground? What spurs a Jewish woman to work with a roomful of Jesus lovers? How did the God Christians worship today come to the world’s collective awareness in the first place? What motivates all of us to make the world a better place?

When I was 16, my dad took me aside and asked why I subscribed to the Christian faith. I don’t remember my answer, but it was probably the textbook Southern Baptist one as that is the only denomination or way of belief I knew at that point. Daddy and Mom raised all of us kids in Baptist churches. Whatever I said that day, I remember Daddy shaking his head at me. “Your faith isn’t yours if it’s part mine or your mom’s. You need to figure out what you believe and why you believe it.” He set me off on a course of reading about the world’s religions.

The questions I explored then arise again as SON expands. Why am I here? Why do storytellers exist? Why does almost every human respond to a story? Did someone put us here? Is there a higher being in charge? Can I interact with that being? How did that being come into being? How is existence supposed to work? Does it work that way? Can we make it work that way? What is the story behind all that has been, is, and will be? Is there a story?

These kinds of questions and more are masterfully woven into an incredible novel I finished this past weekend: Calculating God by Robert J. Sawyer. While there are a few places in which the arguments for answers overtake the storyline, I remained fascinated throughout. The story premise is that an alien (Hollus) comes to Earth with the news that Hollus’s planet, another planet with live beings, and Earth have all experienced five cataclysmic events that altered the evolution of life on that planet. Hollus says this is proof that there is a God and that God is manipulating the formation and evolution of life. The big question is: why? Hollus studies life’s history on this planet while holding provocative conversations with the Canadian paleontologist helping him research.

If that were all this book was, it would be well-worth the read.

But the ending of this story is…well…it’s…astounding.

If you’ve ever wondered how God could have come into being…

If you’ve ever thought that maybe there is a being in charge, but it might not be the God of your knowledge base…

If you’ve ever wondered why horrors like cancer could possibly be allowed to exist…

Heck, if you’re just tired of figuring out the ending of a book when you’re barely halfway through it…

You’ve got to get this novel.

 

 
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Posted by on September 13, 2016 in Media Reviews, The Misc Bucket

 

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A Gentle Request for How You Respond to Jim’s Passing

Jim

James D. Seitz

On Saturday, July 30, 2016, at 11:33am, my fantastic father-in-love James D. Seitz finished his battle with Parkinson’s Disease. He was 82 years old. I loved him dearly. I am not loving something about the response to his death, so I’m writing.

Three years ago, the Hubs and I moved the kiddos down to Naples to help out with Jim’s care. He and Grace allowed us the honor of being a real part of this journey and, while I won’t lie and say it was anywhere in the same ballpark as easy, I’m glad we did. I’m happy we got that time with him, that my kiddos know the amazing grandfather they had, that my mother-in-love and I grew closer as we cared for the love of her life, the man she was married to for 55 years.

Now, most of my Facebook friends are actual friends. They’re people I went to school with, have worked or volunteered with. A few are readers of my novels and I have the gift of their feedback and input as I write additional stories. The folks I call “Facebook Friend” are mostly real relationships. So, rather than call a lot of people and repeat our news, I posted on Facebook that Jim had passed.

               And I got the expected “Sad” and “Love” clicks (thank you) and kind comments from people. It’s been helpful to receive all that, to not feel as if our little family is alone, to realize that a lot of people are acknowledging that a good man’s life has ended.

               But something that has kinda driven me insane is how people barely get the, “I’m so sorry,” out before they jump to, “But you’ll see him again in heaven.”

I’ve done this exact same thing to friends who lose people to death. I’ve done it a lot, even from the moment we were told Jim needed to go into hospice care. Emotion overwhelmed my mother-in-love and husband, so I’m the one who tried to give Jim the news. He read it on my face before I could speak and said, “I’m going to heaven aren’t I?”

I responded, “Yessir, and I’m a little jealous.”

So, yes, I get the instinct to focus on the positive (heaven!) and brush right past the hideous (death). But, I want to go on record as saying I really don’t like it.

I’m a processor. I need time to process, reflect, think, ponder, be quiet and still before I feel as if I can move past a significant emotion. Right now, I hurt. A lot. I’m sad. I miss Jim – even the one who couldn’t speak because Parkinson’s stole his voice. I miss how he always, always smiled when I came into the room. I miss having someone in my life who wanted to hear every single, solitary detail of every single business trip or event I participated in. I miss the one who enjoyed listening to who came with whom and who wore what to this film premiere or that gala. I miss the man who knew the backstories of so many influencers in this town – how they became the people they are today. I want to hear his stories again of chairing balls and functions and how to navigate Board member and funder relationships. I want to ask him a question and see him turn his head, look off in the distance, and give my inquiry real thought before responding with some piece of wisdom I couldn’t have found otherwise. I’ve missed all this for a long time because Parkinson’s took it away but I couldn’t mourn it because we all had to focus on the care required by that moment, that hour. Now that he’s gone all of what was taken by this disease hits at once and I miss him.

I miss him.

I don’t care right now about heaven. I really don’t. I care that right now, today, I can’t go up to his bed, kiss the top of his head, and say, “Hello, blue eyes. I love you.” I care that my mother-in-love, a woman who has been an incredible mother to me for twelve years, is alone for the first time in her 77 years of life and isn’t sure how to navigate the silence other than turning on the radio and leaving it on all day. I care that my husband isn’t sure what to do with himself now that he doesn’t have to go and lift his daddy from the wheelchair and place him into bed every early evening or run over there when Jim needed taken care of some other way. I hurt that my youngest doesn’t have much memory of her grandfather as anything other than a Parkinson’s patient and I hurt more that my eldest does and misses the grandfather he knew before this hideous disease invaded our lives.

I don’t care about heaven right now, y’all. Trying to skip over the pain doesn’t lessen it. It forces me into a place of smiling and nodding, pretending that yes, sure, I’m all good, because, hey, we’ll see him again and isn’t that grand.

It’s not grand today. Please let it be okay that it’s not grand. Just for a little bit. We can rejoice in stuff worthy of rejoicing about in time. For now, I need to take a friend’s very wise advice and be gentle with myself. I need to let myself recognize that even though this was a long, long battle that I thought gave me time to be prepared, I was wrong. It still hurts. Each day is a little better than yesterday – I laughed a real laugh yesterday morning with the kiddos, went to the office, and even managed to keep a lunch date with ladies from my neighborhood – but it still hurts. And I’m going to let it hurt for a little while longer. It should hurt. A truly wonderful man is not here anymore. It should hurt.

I try to think of what I will say to people in the future when I hear that death has taken someone they loved off this earth. I don’t think I’ll jump to references of heaven. I think I’ll say, “I’m sad that you’re sad,” or “I’m so sorry this pain has come,” or borrow from my wise friend Mary and say, “Be gentle with yourself.”

Anyway, I do appreciate all of you who have offered comfort and even those of you who have jumped to the heaven references. I know you mean well. I know that. I love you for that. I just wanted to ask you to let me sit here in this remembrance of him and missing him for a little while longer before I have to take a deep breath, set it aside, and pick up full time living and hoping again.

Because even the promise of heaven doesn’t give back the exact same as what was. And saying goodbye to what was…takes a little while.

 
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Posted by on August 4, 2016 in Life Lessons

 

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The Hillary Outcome: Use Your Words

 

Setting aside that a female will finally be in the White House (YAY! – not that I’m thrilled Hillary is the standard bearer), I’ve at last put my finger on what I dread about four years of a Clinton presidency. And, in naming it, I’ve realized it’s not altogether a bad thing.

Photo credit: HillaryClinton.com

Photo credit: HillaryClinton.com

The entire nation will be forced to pay attention to word choice again. Remember the hours that were given to debating the meaning of the word “is” when the Clinton/Lewinsky stuff went down? It’s already starting with Hilary. Every time she has referred to herself as the “first female presidential nominee” she has been careful to include the phrase “from a major party” as well. That makes it true. Those who ignore the tacked on phrase raise all kinds of hullabaloo on social media about how this is yet another lie from Hillary. But, well, it isn’t – not the way she said it.

And this is how it’s going to be for four more years. She’s going to say something. Everyone will lose their minds talking about how it isn’t true. Everyone else will scream back the exact words she said and how they are, indeed, true. And no one will come any closer to speaking about and working on things that matter.

We’re going to spend four years dickering over semantics.

Four years.

Discussing word choice.

Parsing terms.

I’m a word lover, which makes the coming reality a not entirely bad scenario. I’m thrilled we will pay attention to our language and (hopefully) say what we mean or (at the very least) realize that SHE said exactly what she meant.

But I’m sad that we’re going to lose sight (if we ever had it) of poverty, income disparity, racial tensions, sexual harassment in the workplace, terrorism, human trafficking, hunger, and other serious issues rampant in our nation. That will be the loss of the Clinton presidency: ability to have a truly national conversation regarding situations that matter.

And that leaves me sad because one thing women in the workplace are known for is an ability to get everybody to the table, talking, working together despite differences.

How ironic that the first female presidential nominee from a major party lacks the one characteristic necessary to govern modern-day America.

 
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Posted by on August 3, 2016 in The Misc Bucket

 

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The Tyranny of Self (a/k/a Mike Dooley’s Madness)

A supporter of the non-profit I lead told me about a man named Mike Dooley. “Watch his videos,” she urged. “I think you’ll find his ideas very interesting.” Her faith is the root of mine (she is Jewish; I am Christian) and I love her dearly. She’s kind. Generous with her heart. Sincerely motivated to serve in whatever way she can, in whatever roles of life she lives. A seeker of wisdom always. I like her a lot.

So, I Googled around and found Mike Dooley and his TUT organization. From his website:

TUT’s mission is to remind us of life’s fundamental truths: that life is magical, we are powerful, and dreams really do come true.

Okay, that all sounds happy and positive. I decided to push the twinge I got while reading it (something is off here, said the twinge) to the back burner and signed up for the daily emails. Past the end of my workday at that point, I closed the laptop and left the office.

TUT - Dooley

Screen Grab from Dooley’s website (tut.com)

The next morning, a welcome email from Mike Dooley sat in my inbox. Click “EmailfromTut” to see it.

EmailfromTut

Pleasant. Upbeat. Encouraging, and a reminder to read every email all the way through to the end as many people like the P.S. portion the best. I laughed. Good marketing tactic there. With a few minutes to spare and a desire to let my friend know I’d engaged with TUT, I cruised back to the website and clicked on a couple of the videos.

Which is when the twinge-ometer nearly broke itself in a frenzy.

Dooley is an evangelist for the “New Thought” movement. At its core, this philosophy teaches that humans are divine, thoughts are powerful, and sickness is a result of wrong thinking. Dooley’s words sound like truth – but Dooley twists them ever so slightly and in that twisting he loses the power and truth of the idea.

A dynamic, potent truth in Mike Dooley’s mouth withers under the tyranny of self.

THOUGHTS ARE POWERFUL

Let’s start with the idea that thoughts are powerful. In an interview on “View From the Bay,” Dooley spoke of spending 5-10 minutes each day visualizing what/who I desire to be. He promised that this visualization would engage the “Law of Attraction” and the universe would make that visualization a reality. The show’s co-host shared that she eats poorly and wants to be healthy. Should she envision herself eating apples and bananas? No, Dooley said. She was getting sidetracked by the “how” and need to simply envision herself, right now, as healthy and the universe would order itself to that end. Her thoughts would make it so.

It is true that thoughts are powerful. Consider those ancient words of Paul, “We…take every thought captive to obey Christ…” Or those even older words of Isaiah, “You [God] will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on You!”

Clearly, thoughts hold power. If not, there’d be no reason to be mindful of them staying focused on God. Dooley speaks this truth, but goes a step further to grant humans ownership and control of that power.

Can we think things into existence? Well, we certainly can speak them into existence. That’s established in the very first chapter of the very first book of scripture, Genesis.

Jew or Christian, we agree: God spoke creation into existence (a fascinating occurrence we are still discovering the detail of) and He “created mankind in His own image.” Ostensibly, that image that includes speaking things into existence.

Let me digress a moment here to reveal my serious belief in the concept of speaking things into existence…I’m married to an Eeyore. His glass is perpetually half empty. Doom and destruction are right around the corner. That’s simply his personality and it’s helpful because it urges my sunshine-and-roses-and-its-all-going-to-go-swimmingly self to consider what could end up being the true cost of something. Throughout our marriage, though, I often lay my hand on his arm and say, “Don’t speak that into existence. Leave that hell uncreated.” I firmly believe that spoken thoughts can become reality.

This isn’t true because I have discovered the secret of how the universe works, though. It’s true because the One who spoke creation into existence made me in His image. See that subtle shift of focus? It goes from “I’m god and I control,” to “I serve God and He made me in His image.”

 

BEING THE DIVINE BODY

Here’s another of the twists on truth from Dooley. “I believe that we are, truly, the eyes and the ears of the divine. Including us. Our thoughts. Our actions. It’s all god.”

Christians hear a version of this in church all the time, right? We’re the hands and feet of Jesus, we’re told! The whole concept of us being divine body parts stems from Paul’s letter to the Corinthians that we call “First Corinthians.” He gets to the body concept in chapter two, where he shares that some of us were made to be hands, some to be feet, etc. However, that entire concept is given as Paul describes how God created the church to function as one body for God’s purposes. It’s less about, “I’m the hand of Christ,” and more about, “I have a role and purpose in this body of the church and am being/doing that as part of God’s overall story. My role is necessary, as is each other person’s.”

My eyes and ears aren’t divine. God’s divine.

 

CONTROLLING DESTINY AND ENVISIONING OUR WAY TO A DESIRED OUTCOME

Remember Dooley told that show host to simply envision herself healthy and the universe would order itself to bring about that end? He tells the story in another video of making a scrapbook of all the places he wanted to visit (envisioning himself as a well-traveled person) and how, a couple of years later, he found himself looking out at a vista that was exactly what had been in one of those photographs. Eureka! Envisioning himself in that place caused the universe to bring him to that place.

But history tells us this doesn’t work. Consider William Wallace, who died in pursuit of freedom for the Scottish from England’s rule. I’m nearly certain that William Wallace spent countless hours envisioning Scottish independence. He also worked hard for it. But freedom didn’t come in his lifetime. Instead, the King of England killed Wallace in gruesome fashion. Consider Dietrich Bonhoeffer. All his prayers and thoughts and envisioning didn’t bring freedom from Hitler in his lifetime. Bonhoeffer was killed in a concentration camp.

These men, and countless other men and women, envisioned themselves in their desired outcomes. They lived their beliefs and what they understood to be their God-given purpose and calling, even unto death. But an individual’s story isn’t the whole story.

We must bear in mind that God’s is the unfolding story. My path (your path) is one part of that grand story. Because of this, I don’t always quite understand why He allows some things to happen and others not but I do know that there is a divine plan, that He is in control of it, and that – to quote those ancient words again – He is working all things together for my good (and the good of everyone who loves Him).

See the twist? Dooley’s idea makes it all about me. Actual truth says that something far greater than me is at work within and around me.

 

 SELF-GOD VS GOD

Ultimately, Dooley has interesting ideas but their downfall is in that subtle yet seismic shift from God to self-god. To quote those ancient words one more time, these from Isaiah:

You turn things around! Shall the potter be considered as equal with the clay, that what is made would say to its maker, “He did not make me,” or what is formed say to him who formed it, “He has no understanding”?

We are the clay. Made in the image of the potter and granted, by Him, many of His characteristics and access to His abilities and powers. But, at the end of the day, still clay.

A clay creation cannot know the intricacies of all the other creations to the depth the potter does.

A clay being who believes he is the potter has succumbed to the tyranny of self, and in this lies no freedom at all.

 

P.S. (Because you have to read through the P.S. It’s what many find most interesting!) Where I find common ground with Mike is the concept of living as less than we are. We who are in relationship with God are not taking Him up on all that He has promised us we can do in His name. Because He loves me, He has granted enormous ability, power, grace, and mercy to me. I didn’t create power, grace, mercy, and its cousins, but I can access them because He allows such within His will. (As scripture puts it: He’s the vine, I’m the branch.) We act as if we are weak, even while our lips speak of God’s strength. That is our failure as His people – it is a lack of embracing that we’ve been empowered to live as a people at peace, in kindness, merciful, gracious, forgiving, compassionate, and generous. It is looking at the beautiful land and reporting that there are giants in it, we must retreat. Instead, we should hold that thought captive and release its counter-truth: our God conquers giants if He wills, we need only walk in His name.

 

 
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Posted by on June 30, 2016 in Life Lessons, Living Out Loud

 

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Language, people!

“Evil.”

“Liar.”

“Ugly.”

“Stupid.”

“Moron.”

“Terrorist.”

“Traitor.”

That’s a small sampling of the descriptive words I’ve seen used by people who describe themselves as Jesus-loving folks. When did it become okay to be so mean? To be clear, I’m aware that there’s always been meanness – I’m asking when did it become socially acceptable? Specifically, when did it become acceptable for Christians?

Does the anonymity of a screen really give us the right to go there?

Y’all, Jesus loves Barack Obama. He died for Barack Obama. And Hilary Clinton. And Bernie Sanders. And Donald Trump. Just what do you think God thinks of us – of me, of you – when we speak of people He loves as if they are evil themselves? Unworthy? Do you feel high and holy when you feel hate for these people? When you feel better than them? Smarter than them? Somehow more sanctified or more loved by God than them?

You aren’t.

God doesn’t love you more than He loves Barack Obama.

Yeah, Obama is making some decisions that are hurtful and harmful to people – decisions like creating an atmosphere easily taken advantage of by sexual predators. Please note I’m not saying people whose brains don’t jive with the physical reality of their bodies are predators. I’m saying a predator will pretend to be one of those people and can achieve his/her hurtful aim because of the situation created by Obama’s public school bathroom decree.  And Brian Cornell, the CEO of Target is in the same boat, sure.

But God loves Barack Obama. And Barack Obama has said, more than once, that He is a Christian. So has Hilary Clinton. I don’t know if Brian Cornell has, but…

…maybe we can start with just loving the people who say they love Jesus and are His followers. Maybe if we decided to act like we love people – the way our God loves them – we could be known for the ONLY thing the Bible says we are to be known for: how we love each other. (John 13:34-35)

Please sit in that truth, y’all. Please. The Bible gives us ONE THING to be known for in the world: how we love other people who say they love Him, too. “Love one another,” was said BY JESUS to John as a COMMANDMENT.

…(34) A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so also you must love one another. (35) By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.”

Now, I know a lot of us are motivated by love when we moan and groan about the bathroom thing. We love people, we see a very real opportunity for people to be harmed, and we want to do something about it. At least, I do. I’m a sex abuse survivor. You bet your balloons I’m fired up about that situation. The very idea that my precious little boy or girl could be harmed by a predator taking advantage of an opportunity created – well, my heart speeds up and I get all mad just considering it.

But Barack Obama isn’t trying to hurt people. Target is not trying to hurt people. The irony is that they’re trying to NOT hurt people – the people whose brains don’t agree with their physical bodies. Can we acknowledge that? Can we recognize that someone whose actions we vehemently disagree with can still be motivated from a good place?

Because, when we do that – when we act like the loving people we are supposed to be – then an opportunity for discussion blooms. Hackles lower. No one is “evil” or “stupid” or whatever. Everyone comes in the room wanting the best thing, the kindest thing, for everybody.

That’s how we roll, y’all. Those of us who love Jesus, anyway. That’s how we roll. We see someone as worthy of us dying for. Every someone. Someones named Barack Obama or Hilary Clinton or Donald Trump or Brian Cornell. And we say, “Okay, look, I think I may understand what you’re trying to do here. Let’s see if we can come up with a way to do that, but not cause the unintended consequence of giving predators opportunities to take advantage…”

Because the checker on the frontlines at Target is probably a Jesus-lover, too. (There are millions of us, so chances are pretty good.) Or maybe the checker knows nothing of Jesus other than His folks are boycotting Target. And she is just trying to make enough money to buy groceries and enough kibble for the little Yorkie back at the apartment. Or he’s just scraping together enough to take a girl out on a date this weekend and not have the car run out of gas in the process. THOSE are the unintended consequences of your decision to boycott. You hurt them. And surely nobody involved in that boycott signed it because they want to hurt people. They signed it because they’re scared people in bathrooms will get hurt.

We’re all trying to do something good – how about we stand on that common ground, be kind to each other, and figure out a way to achieve both ends?

How about we see people as God does – worthy of dying for – and speak to them and about them from that place?

 
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Posted by on May 18, 2016 in The Misc Bucket

 

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Why A Kiss Is Enough

A young loving couple hugging and kissing on the beach at sunset. Two lovers, man and woman barefoot near the water. Summer in love

With the release of my latest novella, SECOND GLANCE, some folks have noticed that I don’t tend to let my characters go too far (if at all) past kissing. Then they read my blog (especially that Morning Sex post) and decide I must be a prude. While that makes me laugh hysterically (and my husband gets a GIANT kick out of it), I’ve decided to reveal the reason behind my choice and explain here why kissing is such a big deal to me (and, by extension, my characters).

I am a sex abuse survivor. Doesn’t make me special – at least a quarter of the women in this country can (sadly) say the same thing. My husband and I were married for seven years before I voluntarily, spontaneously initiated a kiss between us.

Our son was five, our daughter nearly two. Over a year earlier, I’d seen our precious littles playing in the living room floor and been surprised by the thought, “They’re depending on me to teach them how to live. They need me to be healthy.” I knew I wasn’t healthy, mentally and spiritually, regarding physical love but I’d gotten by and had no intention of upsetting the applecart until that breathless moment when I understood that these little beings didn’t need to be affected by my past.

They were free of it.

And I wondered if I could be, too.

So, I embarked on a journey to deal with “the shit” as my husband and I came to call it. I apologize for the vulgarity. If ever there is a time to use a vulgar word as a descriptor, my past experience seemed to be it.

Fast forward nearly two excruciating/exhilarating years later, and I found myself walking through our breakfast room right through the space in which I’d stood contemplating my children’s need for a healthy mom. As I glanced across the room and into the kitchen at my husband, a strange feeling overwhelmed me. I couldn’t puzzle it out at first. I knew part of it to be love. I was feeling love for that man. But it took me several seconds to realize I had a God’s honest desire to kiss him because I loved him. I’d never had that!

I’d been standing there staring at him as I puzzled this out, which drew his attention. He turned his face toward me. “What?” he asked.

I walked over to him, tilted my face up to his, stood on my tiptoes, and kissed him. I’ll hold to decorum and just say here that we’ve been married nearly 12 years and we both remember that kiss.

Kissing is the most emotionally intimate of all physical acts. It is the hardest to ignore when it’s happening (trust me, I know) – much harder to divorce your brain from than sex. A kiss allows another human being into the space of your life from which you speak – and speaking is how everything came to be in the first place. Your mouth is both powerful and vulnerable, giving and receiving, all at the same time. A kiss says a million feelings and thoughts without uttering a spoken word.

I’ve kissed wrong. I’ve kissed right.

Done as it was intended by the Creator, kissing is powerful. It is definitely powerful enough for my characters to convey the depth of emotion and story needed to sweep a reader off her feet.

You know what I don’t find powerful? When two characters who met five milliseconds ago kiss for the first time and somehow that’s an immediate assumption that sex is wanted/needed/necessary/wise. With all the sex on tv and in films and books, I think the shock factor for writers today lies in revealing a kiss for what it genuinely was meant to be, and is.

Having worked very hard and finally come into the experiential knowledge of the power of kissing. I wish we writers could start giving the act its proper due.

So, I do.

 

 
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Posted by on March 10, 2016 in The Misc Bucket

 

Sex and Self-Righteousness at the Superbowl

There is great wisdom in accepting that we are made in the image of a God who created with words. He spoke, things happened. We do that, too. We speak, things happen. We alter mindsets, outcomes, personalities, and people when we open our mouths and let words come out.

If you’re a parent, you know the power your words have over the formation of your child. If I tell my child he is unkind, unworthy, a failure, and ugly then he will believe these things about himself. The words I spoke over him become his truth and he feeds that into the world. But I also have the power to call him creative, strong, kind, gentle, and loyal – and watch as those become the bedrock of his identity and are poured out into the world.

So, when I consider what 118 million people had chanted over them by a beloved American celebrity – I cringe. I fear the outcome of individuals waking up this morning and humming these lyrics as they go about their work. This wasn’t a small concert somewhere. Not something that a tiny portion of the nation did or did not elect to hear. This was performed at the largest sports event in the nation, a part of the fabric of the culture here. Do you know the lyrics of the Beyonce song “Formation” that she performed last night? Here’s a sampling [warning: foul language]:

courtesy HollywoodLife.com

courtesy HollywoodLife.com

Oh yeah baby, oh yeah I, ohhhhh, oh yes I like that
I did not come to play with you hoes
I came to slay, bitch
I like cornbreads and collard greens, bitch
Oh yes, you best to believe it

I see it, I want it
I stunt, yeah, little hornet
I dream it, I work hard
I grind ‘til I own it
I twirl all my haters
Albino alligators
El Camino with the ceiling low
Sippin’ Cuervo with no chaser
Sometimes I go off, I go off
I go hard, I go hard
Get what’s mine, take what’s mine
I’m a star, I’m a star
Cause I slay, slay
I slay, hey, I slay, okay
I slay, okay, all day, okay
I slay, okay, I slay okay
We gon’ slay, slay
Gon’ slay, okay
We slay, okay
I slay, okay
I slay, okay
Okay, okay, I slay, okay
Okay, okay, okay, okay
Okay, okay, ladies now let’s get in formation, cause I slay
Okay ladies, now let’s get in formation, cause I slay
Prove to me you got some coordination
Slay trick, or you get eliminated

Verse 1:

When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster, cause I slay
When he fuck me good, I take his ass to Red Lobster, cause I slay
If he hit it right, I might take him on a flight on my chopper, cause I slay
Drop him off at the mall, let him buy some J’s, let him shop up, cause I slay

Cosmopolitan called this “the most perfect song since the Paleozoic Era…”

This is how we, as women, use incredible gifts like music and television? This is how we better the world? This is how we use the equal voice we have? By singing about sex and what we do to reward a man if he’s good at it? By encouraging people to, Get what’s mine, take what’s mine?

“Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either. Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back. Treat others the same way you want them to treat you…”(Mark 6:29-31)

There is no power in selfishness.

No joy in being stingy.

No strength in taking.

No actualization of the mature self is found in demand.

Your best self doesn’t take; it gives.

Thankfully, the halftime show ended with Coldplay’s “Fix You” with slightly adjusted lyrics.

We gonna get it, get it together right now
We gonna get it, get it together somehow

The crowd held up signs that read, “Believe in love.”

“Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking…” (I Cor. 13:4-5)

I wonder if Beyonce read those cards in the crowd? Did she feel a twinge – even a tiny one – that she’d just spewed self-righteous ugliness all over a crowd now encouraging millions to focus on the opposite of her diatribe? Did anyone at CBS pause and wonder if maybe this wasn’t the highest use of their ability to reach millions?

 

 
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Posted by on February 8, 2016 in Industry Reflections